Reminders for the Holidays from a Weight-Inclusive Dietitian

Thanksgiving weekend is happening in Canada on October 9th, 2023, with American Thanksgiving, Christmas, and other holiday festivities to follow. I'm sharing here a few of my #thanksgivingreminders for fostering a more peaceful Thanksgiving weekend with a little less diet culture.

Whether an upcoming holiday is joyful, stressful, sad, or a mix of emotions for you, my intention is that my #thanksgivingreminders help folks find a little more peace and relaxation.

Reminder #1️ is starting us off strong: please don't comment on other people's bodies.

Whether it's around the Thanksgiving dinner table, at a loved one's house, or out on the street, please don't ever comment on someone's body. Even if you think you are giving them a compliment, please keep it in your head.

Why? Comments like this draw more attention to the body and it's worth. Commenting on someone's weight change can be seriously triggering, especially for someone with an eating disorder or disordered eating.

🤔Instead of saying: "wow you look so good!"

💁‍♀️Try saying: "it's so good to see you" or "I'm so happy to spend time with you"

🤔Instead of: "have you lost weight? You look great, how did you do it?"

💁‍♀️Try saying: "I've missed your beautiful smile! How have you been doing?"

🤔Instead of: "(person's name) really put on some pounds, didn't they?"

💁‍♀️Try saying: "I'm glad I got to see (person's name) and hear about their life"

Remember we never truly know what's going on in a person's life. When it comes to being more aware of eating disorders and diet culture, consider refraining from commenting about someone's body and instead focus on who they are as a person (I bet you'll have much more meaningful conversation this way too!)

Reminder #2️: You are allowed to enjoy holiday foods!

And, you are allowed to do so without guilt or shame, or guilting/shaming others.

Here are a few tips to help you make more space enjoyment of holiday foods:

✨Give yourself PERMISSION to eat these foods. Allow yourself to have them vs avoiding them is an important step to enjoyment.

🍂 Try focusing on the environment surrounding you. Enjoyment of food is partially the food itself but also what's going on around you. Perhaps focusing on the social aspect, conversation, nice music, or a table setting...these may be things to help you feel a bit more at ease.

🧡 Refrain from labelling foods as 'good' or 'bad'. Labels like this can pull us away from actually enjoying the food and perpetuate disordered thoughts, pulling us away from enjoying the food.

There may be other complicated reasons why you don't always enjoy holiday foods and that's okay. Meet yourself where you are at and perhaps this is something to work towards in time.

Above all, be gentle with yourself!

Reminder #3️: Aim to eat regularly and don't skip meals/snacks leading up to a Thanksgiving dinner

I often hear people talking about restricting before having a bigger meal or "holiday feast". There are a few concerns with this:

🚨 restriction can perpetuate disordered eating patterns such as bingeing (in the case of Thanksgiving, skipping meals before dinner could lead to eating in a way that might feel "out of control")

🚨 inadequate food intake earlier in the day can cause increased thoughts and food obsession

🚨 skipping meals and then eating a large amount at dinner can cause a host of gastrointestinal issues such as heartburn and bloating (just to name a few)

By eating regularly before Thanksgiving dinner you are reducing the risk of disordered eating behaviours, building body trust, and giving your body what it needs and deserves: food! Reducing the gap between eating moments will help

So...what might regular eating look like?

🥣 It might look like eating breakfast, lunch, and even snacks leading up to Thanksgiving dinner

⏰ It could be scheduling eating moments for every 3 hours

🍳 It might include eating something within an hour or so of waking up, then having something else a few hours later

📝 Sometimes making a plan beforehand can be helpful

✨Any food is better than no food✨ Even if you plan on having a big Thanksgiving feast later on, you still are deserving and worthy of regular adequate nutrition before (and after!)

Reminder #4: All foods have nutrients

Whether it's mashed potatoes, salad, or pumpkin pie, there are nutrients present. Of course, all these foods have different kinds of nutrients, and different amounts, and may serve different purposes at the table.

Let's break this down a little...

Potatoes 🥔 can be a common Thanksgiving staple to get demonized for not being "nutrient dense" or having much to offer nutritionally. Yet, they actually provide a wonderful source of carbohydrates, and potassium and are a delicious fluffy comforting aspect to many turkey dinners across the country.

Then we think of salad 🥗 - this one typically gets put on a pedestal and viewed as the "healthy choice". Sure, a salad may offer more fibre and possibly some other vitamins and minerals, and, I find it adds a fun crunch to contrast the other foods typically served at Thanksgiving.

Then there's pumpkin pie 🥧 - guess what? Even pumpkin pie has nutrients (vitamin A, sugar, fat, and fibre just to name a few).

Can we agree that all foods have nutrients? Whether it's pie or a salad, there is nutrition to be had. Sometimes remembering this fact can be a helpful step in healing our relationship with food. We might be able to move away from labelling food as good/bad, healthy/unhealthy, etc. simply by reminding ourselves that all foods have nutrients. Period. I hope this helps carry you through the weekend and future food-focused holidays ❤️

Reminder #5: Leave the diet talk at the door

No one needs to hear about the latest diet someone is on or what wellness trend they are following at the moment. Conversations revolving around themes of restriction, body shape, and wellness tips can be incredibly triggering for many with any form of disordered eating, body image issues or an eating disorder. Plus, there are more exciting things to talk about during a Thanksgiving gathering.

Here are a few conversation starters you can use to that may help steer the conversation away from diet talk:

💫 "What's been happening in your life lately that's been bringing you joy?"

💫 "Tell me more about your (insert: dog / baby / new hobby / last book you read / etc.)"

💫 "What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?"

Trust me, there are WAY more interesting things going on in our lives than the latest diet or wellness trend.

So this Thanksgiving weekend, let's try uninviting #dietculture and leave the diet talk at the door.

Reminder #6: the foods you eat this weekend will not 'make or break' your health

I often hear clients express fear that a larger meal will cause weight gain. And that fear is valid given the world we live in, where there's so much fear-mongering and diet talk!

The reality is, foods you eat this weekend will certainly not "make or break" your health. It will not significantly impact your weight and will not cause any long-term effects on your health (unless of course, you have a food allergy or other specific medical reason to eat a particular way every day).

We need to remember that food is more than fuel! Food offers more to us humans than just nutrients in the name of 'health', including:

💕 an opportunity to connect socially over a meal

😊 enjoyment and pleasure of the food

🙏🏻 comfort of a familiar meal or snack

🎉 an opportunity to celebrate cultural traditions

What else has food provided for you, other than nutrients to meet physical needs?

Reminder #7: Take time for self-care especially if you found this holiday to be difficult.

It's okay if this holiday has been difficult, tiring, or "a lot" for you.

Here are a few ideas that may be helpful forms of self-care now that we're winding down from this past week / Thanksgiving weekend:

🍂 Allow yourself time to rest. Perhaps this means giving yourself permission to take a nap, sleep in, or go to bed early tonight.

🍂 Make a simple plan to eat regular meals (see above my previous reminder about eating regularly before a holiday meal - the same principles apply post-thanksgiving (and every day!))

🍂 Debrief the weekend with a trusted support person, such as a therapist, friend, partner, or dietitian

🍂 Take 30 minutes to engage in an activity that brings you joy. Maybe this is creating art, playing a video game, painting your nails, or reading a good book.

🍂 Journal about 3 things you are grateful for

Self-care is a big topic and this post is barely scratching the surface. But let this be a reminder to take time to tend to your own needs.